JBFCS: Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs

Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs of the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services

November 2005

An excerpt from a sermon by Rabbi Peter J. Rubinstein, Divisional Board Member.

The Days are Passing

I’ve recently been thinking a lot: "I can’t be that old!" When I look in the mirror I see a younger man. My age and my self image don’t compute. For some of us the age of our children belies our self-image. When the actress Hermione Gingold was asked how old she was she said "I don’t know but my children are older!"

These holidays remind us of the passing of years, of how quickly even this year has gone by.

20 year olds say that their school years pass in the blink of an eye. 30 year olds struggle with now being considered grown up. 40 and 50 year olds think that "middle-age" describes the older generation just before them. 60 year olds suddenly seem to find themselves at the specified gateway to retirement and others cannot imagine that they have arrived there. Youthful 70 year olds squirm with the designation that they are senior citizens and hate to be told they are living in their golden years. And even those in the 80’s and 90’s can wince at being called "elderly".

We move through all these stages of our life and in the good times we feel that life is going incredibly fast, even too fast.

In the second century Rabbi Judah b.Tema wrote about the responsibilities incumbent on us at different ages "We are ready to study Torah when we are five years old. By 13 years old we are able to fulfill the commandments; at 18 we were to marry, at 20 we began a career. At 30 we take on community responsibility. At 40 we finally gain understanding. At 50, we provide counsel and advice. At 60 we’re considered elders. At 70 we attain wisdom (literally it says we are known for our "gray hair"). At 80 we reach strong old age..." (Pirke Avot 5.21)

We understand that it is tough to be old. It is painful to mourn a spouse or lose friends or wait for visits from family who are understandably busy in their own lives. It is difficult to live by ourselves at the end of life, to be nursed by caretakers or in a residence we know to be our last.

Being old takes remarkable courage and I’m awed by the valor of all who bravely face mortality and who, in the words of Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi "use the information of long life to gain wisdom." It takes enormous strength and it is to be honored.

There is timeless wisdom in our tradition on how to live well at every age. This is what we learn: anticipate each day with hope. Love. Be holy.

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

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