JBFCS: Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs

Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs of the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services

November 2003

Rabbi Simkha Y. Weintraub, LCSW, Rabbinic Director, JBFCS

The Hardest Task of All...

Some years ago, an oncologist called for a consultation. He had treated a medical colleague for cancer, and the two doctors had become good friends in the process. Barely holding back his tears, he explained that the cancer had advanced to a point where no more treatment was of use, and it was time to tell his patient, his friend, that it was time to turn to palliative care, to put his affairs in order, and to prepare for death. "But how?" he pleaded. "How can I say that to him?"

I didn’t have a script to offer, but I did share with him the following midrash from the Middle Ages:

"Is this matter meant for me?"
Moses tells Aaron of his impending death.
A Midrash

Said the Holy Blessed One to Moses, "Do Me a favor and tell Aaron of his death, for I am ashamed to tell him."

What did Moses do? He rose early in the morning and went to Aaron. "My brother Aaron!" he cried.

Aaron immediately came down to him and asked, "Why have you come here so early today?" Replied Moses, "There was a matter in Torah that was difficult for me, and I pondered it all night. That is why I have come to you early in the morning."

"What matter is it?" asked Aaron.

"I do not know what matter it was; I know only that it is in the Book of Genesis."

They took the Book Genesis and read from it together. When they reached the creation of Adam, Moses said, "What shall I say about Adam, who brought death to the world?"

"Moses, my brother, replied Aaron, "shall we not accept God’s decree in this matter."

Said Moses, "And I, who ruled over the ministering angels, and you who stopped the Angel of Death–will our end not be thus?"

As soon as Moses reminded him of the day of death, Aaron’s bones felt weak. "Is this matter meant for me?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Moses.

Thereupon (the people of) Israel saw that he was diminished in size.

Moses said to him, "Do you accept death?"

"Yes," answered Aaron.

"Then let us ascend to Hor HaHar," said Moses.

When they ascended to Hor HaHar, a cave opened for them, where they found a bier which was the work of Heaven. Aaron took off one garment at a time, which Elazar put on, while a fog enveloped Aaron. Immediately, the Divine Presence (Shekhinah) descended and kissed him. Then the Holy Blessed One said to Moses, "Depart from here." When they left, the cave was sealed. And Moses and Elazar descended.

- Yalkut Shimoni (early 12th century) Hukkat 76

He asked me to fax him this story, and subsequently told me that the two of them read it, and wept together. Even the Holy Blessed One finds it hard.

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

©2008 Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services
120 West 57th Street · New York, NY 10019
Phone: (212) 399-2685 · Fax: (212) 399-2475 ·