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August 2006

By Carol Hausman, Ph.D., Washington Jewish Healing Network

G Shabbat Candles — A Pathway to God

Below is an excerpt from the National Center for Jewish Healing publication The Outstretched Arm, whose most recent issue focuses on Shabbat. The issue includes healing approaches to Shabbat rituals, Torah commentaries, approaches to entering and adapting to Shabbat, and website resources. To order: 212.399.2685 ext 209 or

What is it that Jewish people say when they light the candles on Friday night?" This question came from a member of a Jewish spiritual support group on the issues of aging. After the group discussed a midrash on Moses’ death which ended with, "And God took away the soul of his servant Moses with a kiss, and God wept," someone in the group blurted out, "Well, God’s not going to weep when I die — I haven’t been to a synagogue in twenty years." The question was really asking, "How can I get closer to God before I die?" and the questioner somehow recognized that lighting the Shabbat candles may open a pathway to God. The group members were invited to make up their own prayers for the following Shabbat, and later they learned the traditional prayers. The group eventually arrived at a combination — blending words form the tradition with words from the heart (a formula which Rabbi Reuven Hammer recommends in Entering Jewish Prayer.)

In a group for parents of adult children who are estranged from them, we learned that one of the parents said a silent prayer for her son as she lit the Shabbat candles. Others began doing the same, encouraged to say the blessing aloud so that the whole family, including the missing child, was included in the entrance to their Shabbat celebration. The candle lighting ritual helped them move toward the mitzvah of suspending mourning on Shabbat, a big challenge when a child is estranged and distant.

Lighting the candles marks the moment when pain somehow diminishes, a day of some peace begins and we become more acutely aware of being in God’s presence.

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

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