JBFCS: Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs

Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs of the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services

March 2005

Rabbi Stephanie Dickstein, LMSW, Spiritual Care Coordinator, Shira Ruskay Center

Sharing food: Purim and the key to a strong community

How do Jews respond to joy? We eat as a community. How do Jews respond to sorrow? We eat as a community. What is the best tool Jews have for passing our story on to the next generation? It is eating together as families, in community.

Purim is our most subtle holiday, full of contradictions. What first appears to be straightforward is actually complex. This riotously joyous holiday is really about living meaningfully in the presence and possibility of trauma. The Jews of Persia, a generation past the traumatic exile from Israel, are living with some degree of comfort. Suddenly, destruction is decreed. At the last moment, brave Esther and wise Mordecai save the people. This simple happy ending is the story we tell our children, but a rereading of the final chapters of Megillat Esther reminds us that the resolution was traumatic for the Jews and their neighbors. In the face of violence and survival, the Jews ate.

"The Jews celebrated days of feasting and merry making, of sending packages from neighbor to neighbor and giving gifts to the poor." (Esther 9:19) These three practices, along with the public chanting of Megillat Esther, remain the core of our Purim celebration. They outline the keys to creating an emotionally healthy community. First, we need to know and tell our story. Beyond that, community is built and sustained with mutual support on all levels. The first level is our intimate circles. Families and close friends gather at home for a Purim Seudah. During this festive meal, participants of all ages present jokes and funny songs. The second level is sharing among neighbors. Mishloach manot is the exchanging of gifts of at least two prepared food items with at least two other households. In this way, we affirm that each of us has something to offer, and each of us has times when we need to receive. Finally, there is the level of broader community, giving gifts to the poor. We are all obligated to care for everyone in need.

The danger of trauma is that it can lead to isolation and apathy. Purim, with its mitzvot of sharing food, teaches us that mutual support is the key to meaningful survival.

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

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